Platform

GameCube

STARFOX ADVENTURES
PLAY TIME: 30 MINUTES


I didn’t like this either.

[rolls up sleeves]

Right then. Let’s start with Rare.

Rare is comprised of a very talented bunch of staff. They problem is, they’re making the wrong kind of games.

Rare does ‘hardcore’ better than anyone. Goldeneye – inspired, epoch-making brilliance. Blast Corps – innovative, and fun. From my understanding, the development teams enjoyed making these games. It was a logical evolution of the likes of Sabre Wolf, and the creative culture was comfortable with it.

Then Nintendo bought 25% of Rare, and the problems began. The Stamper Brothers, no doubt after a hasty tally up of their new equity value, ripped out the soul of the company and inserted sappy, character-driven goo. The new mandate was to make stuff with big fuzzy bears. Or pig-tailed manga chicks. Or worst of all, Nintendo’s license driven games for American pre-teens. Diddy Kong Racing might be the fastest selling game in history, but the wider, long term effect was Time Splitters for PS2 and Xbox. How many producers, artists, heck – whole teams – have left Rare in the last few years? There’s practically a mini-industry of them out there, cranking out dark, adult, imaginative stuff for Sony and Microsoft. Not these games might not be classics, but the point is, they might have been at Rare.

StarFox Adventures is the latest in a series of bastardised Nintendo-Rare blockbusters. This is a Jack-of-all-trades game. Bit of flying around, bit of Zelda, bit of fighting, smidgen of shooting. You might think I’m being harsh, but none of these individual components is particularly compelling. Hence, this is an ‘experience’ game. Spend 150 ‘relatively fun’ hours with Fox McCloud in a world of dinosaurs! Now, if you’re the kind of gamer who has time for that, then good on you. As for me, I want joy. Parappa is joy. Mario 64 is joy. ICO is joy. Halo is joy. Monkey Ball is joy. StarFox Adventures is backed by an earth-shattering budget, one of the most experienced developers in the world, a seemingly endless gestation, and the all-seeing eye of Miyamoto himself. It should have been a masterpiece. And it is nowhere near.

Video game reviewers will love this game. Because frankly, most of them are children, and they’ll eat whatever their expectations serve them. It’s good, solid, gaming. Fly and shoot stuff. Bit of story. Lift the rock to get the key to open the door to enter the dungeon to kill the boss to move on.

Is that it?

‘Not fair’ -- I can practically hear it as I type. It’s not fair to criticise the game just because it doesn’t hold up to my own outlandish expectations. Maybe so. But what are people’s expectations? Dear God -- more than this, I hope. Isn’t this Gamecube? Nintendo’s self-proclaimed next generation of entertainment? SFA is the next generation only in structure – and barely. The basic minute-minute play is ditto, 100% identical to a million experiences you already had on N64, and PlayStation. It’s just longer, and with more complex structure.

SFA is impressive. The scope is huge. It’s endless. There’s variety. But it just not fun. Or rather, there are a hand full of games I played this year on Dreamcast and PlayStation that were a lot more compelling. There’s no joy in SFA. It feels like one giant, epic, exercise in trying to impress you. And after three years, and countless Rare-buyout rumours, what do you expect? You can practically hear the developers groaning under the weight of expectation as you play it. Golly it says to you, look how big this level is! Look how far you can go! Yes, you ask – but will I have fun? It might have been only 30 minutes, but I didn’t.


Justin
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